Starpulse:Zooey Deschanel is getting married to either the singer form Death Cab for Cutie or the bassist from AFI. Wanna know which? Click it! (BTW who's Zooey Deschannel?)
Yeeeah:Who cares about Lily Allen's music? She's naked!
This is another one of these chicks in the U.K. who sell lingerie for Ultimo. The girl, who I'm sure loves that first picture, and is named Nicola McLean took some time out from promoting lingerie yesterday to talk about how much she doesn't like Katie Price. And since I'm sure you care about British lingerie models fighting, this is how it goes:
First Katie and Nicola go on a TV show together. Then something bad happens. Then Nicola's boobs fall out on TV. Then Katie says to a reporter:
"I don't really like Nicola... I've gone off her. She's got her boobs out in the paper today. We've seen enough of them. There's no need to get the nip out."
Oh yeah, that was after she said:
"Lots of people have been texting me and people are saying, 'Has Nicola studied tapes of you?' because she’s trying to be like me. I’m flattered. I met her years ago when she was trying to become a glamour model. She didn’t get anywhere and I’m quite surprised she’s in it."
Then Nicola says to the reporter, in her Santa outfit, this:
"You know what, I went into the jungle thinking that (Katie) was an icon, an absolute legend, she's amazing. "And I've come out and seen that she's gave me the absolute worst press and it's just so sad really."
Ok ok... OK! Sorry for making you read all that. It'll get better just wait.
That dainty peach on the left gave that lovely lip to the man on the right. And the reason why is the absolutely hilarious. Brittany Phillips, 19, woke up bright and early one fine Saturday morning. Her boyfriend Todd Stewart, 35, was sleeping soundly next to her. It must have been a lovely sunrise in Ouachita Parish, Lousiana that day, because something happened to Brittany. She wanted sex! Pretty damn bad, because when sleeping beauty Todd said no, she got pretty pissed. She pressed and pressed and he said no and no. It got so bad, Todd had to get out of bed and attempt to continue his sleep on the couch. Well, that didn't go so good.
Brittany found a sharp metal object, which Todd thinks was a knife, and stabbed him in the face with it!
Let the story of Todd and Brittany be a lesson to all you guys out there. Never say no! Give it up and go back to bed. It's not so difficult. Or don't date crazy bitches, 'cause that might work to!
Scott Weiland showed up to his show in NYC about an hour late last week. But of course, apologizing to the crowd is for suckers. There's only three ways to get out a situation like this. Lie, which is usually the best; blame it on someone else, which is pretty easy to; or deride the one guy who makes every bad thing you do look like angel's playtime. Scott choose the latter as he cracked up at his own jokes, and of course Axl Rose just happened to be the punchline.
Sean Avery, the hockey player who dated Elisha Cuthbert, Rachel Hunter, and was found in the little black book of Manhattan Madam Kristen Davis, is sorry he's suspended indefinitely for calling Elisha his 'sloppy seconds.' Sean was getting ready to play Calgary and Elisha is currently dating one of their players. Just watch the video above. For that remark the NHL suspended him indefinitely. Today, Sean issued this statement:
"I should not have made those comments and I recognize that they were inappropriate. It was a bad attempt to build excitement for the game, but I am now acutely aware of how hurtful my actions were."
In otherwords... shit! I have no job. What's funny is when he makes the little sloppy seconds comment it looks like he's been planning to say that all day. He's about to crack himself up before he even gets to the dumb little line. Like, hahaha this is gonna be good.
The two surfers who rippingly pushed a paparazzi into the ocean have pleaded not guilty to battery charges.
Ha! Ha! Ha!
That stupid pap is dumb anyways. That's what he gets. Oh yeah, the pap was trying to film Matthew McConaughey and his surf buddies who were drinking beer on the beach told the paps to put their cameras away.
That guys a little wuss and being retarded anyways. He should get pushed into the water. Cuz it's funny. Paps need to handle their shit.
Last week The Sun was claiming THIS publicity photo of Katy Perry holding a knife instigated a run of gnarly stabbings across the U.K.
Well, Katy didn't like that very much. So she's standing up! First her publicist said "She is against all violence." And now this: that photo of her, a spoon, and this note:
…But I DO condone eating ice cream with a very large spoon.
Dear Sun:
You deserve a time out. Your “journalistic” approach has half the soul of the National Enquirer. Shame on you.
And I say 'Yeah!'
I mean, I like regular sized spoons. Very large ones don't fit. But yeah. Shame on you The Sun.
Here's Michael Lohan training for his tard fight boxing match against a guy who runs a sick children charity, Bob Venero. Michael wanted to fight Perez Hilton first but Perez wussed out. SO now Lohan and Vernero are going at it.
Each fighter weighs about 170 lbs and Lohan is two inches taller, at 5'10''.
Michael claims he is a black belt and has been studying martial arts for seven years. Venero has no trained fighting experience but is currently trainig with Pro Boxer Tony Fortunato. Oh yeah, and Verero shelled out $30,000 for the right to KO Lohan.
For some reason, even though he's shorter and supposedly less experienced, we think he's going to win!! At least it'll be funny. Plus the kids get all the money.
