Steve Jobs Is Dying

Steve Jobs isn't really dying but he does have a hormone imbalance that is making him skinny, and no you can't have one to. Steve says the hormone imbalance is just kinda weird:

I have been losing weight throughout 2008. The reason has been a mystery to me and my doctors. A few weeks ago, I decided that getting to the root cause of this and reversing it needed to become my #1 priority.

Fortunately, after further testing, my doctors think they have found the cause -- a hormone imbalance that has been "robbing" me of the proteins my body needs to be healthy. Sophisticated blood tests have confirmed this diagnosis.

Well that's good. I'm glad they figured that out. I like my little Apple things and I'd be sad if he couldn't help make them anymore. Mr. Jobs isn't saying how he's going to cure this uncontrolable weight loss, but he does say it's going to take a few months:

The remedy for this nutritional problem is relatively simple and straightforward, and I've already begun treatment. But, just like I didn't lose this much weight and body mass in a week or a month, my doctors expect it will take me until late this Spring to regain it. I will continue as Apple's CEO during my recovery.

Medical marijuana. You can think for really cool iPhones on medical marijuana to.